Maybe He's Out There

Lately, I have been bummed out about the entire dating thing. I know, I'm 21 and shouldnt be stressed over something like this. But, I am, because I'm a girl and that's what we do...we stress about the little stuff.

It hasent been until recently that I have gotten attention from guys and that of course has been a new experience for me. But, I wonder sometimes and feel sorry for myself most of the time, "is there a man out there for me?" Has the Lord actually perfectly paired us together? Have I already met this person and I don't know? How old will I be before the Lord allows this man and I to be united as one?

I wonder, if there is a man out there for me, what will he be like. Will he be loving and tenderhearted? Will he be able to handle the things in my life that I sometimes can't handle? Is he the kind of man that walks away when he is mad or is he the kind of man that clenches his fists and try's not to hit things? What are going to be little things that he does for me, that will make me fall in love with him more and more each day? Will be he a father that is so in love with his children that they become his world?

All these things run through my head about once every couple months, and I think its because I see all my best friends with their boyfriends and see them in love and how they are treated and loved on. I WANT THAT! Of course, I can't deny that I have wanted it and desire it for all the wrong reasons, but that just comes along with being immature and young. God nows that I have turned to guys for the wrong reasons and in that you get hurt and you have to learn from it.

I just wish that one day I will get to be one of those girls that beams when she talks about her boyfriend/husband, that when she see's him she falls in love all over again, that he wants to show her off in front of people regardles of what she is wearing, and will always love me. A man that can love me regardless of what kind of mood I am, that can make me laugh every single day, kisses me when we wake up and when we go to bed, is a hopeless romantic and when he looks at me he falls back in love with me.

I just have to keep telling myself that this is the Lords timing and NOT mine. I might be 30 before I find that perfect someone for me, and I might be 23 before I even start dating. There is no telling, all I have to be sure of is that my heart is in the right place before that 'guy' can be in my life.