The Need to Write

I for some reason have the urge to pour my heart out to you this morning. Don't ask me why, I just do!

I have been thinking a lot about life and the road that I have walked. A hard one at times and one where I have to truely give everything to the Lord, but a road that has shaped me into being the woman that I am today. Not that bad! I think since I turned 20, I have been really thinking about the future, and everything the goes alot with your 20's. I mean most people I know, get married in thier 20's, have children, buy a house, buy a car, ect. That's a scary thought, but some what exciting to think that I may within the next 10 years fall in love, marry a man that loves the Lord, have children and actually become an adult. That's overwhelming to think about. But there is a story that I have to tell because it seems to always get me when I see this person at school.

I don't know this person that I am wirtting about, but I will tell you, I don't know him nad he dosent know me, but he has impacted my life and makes me love the Lord more everytime I see him. A young black man is a student at South and I have seen him twice now. But what gets me is that he is blind and when I see him he is always alone. Today, we were waiting for the bus to take us back to the apartment and of course since he can't see he couldnt tell what bus was passing. He then asked someone to help him get on the 'purple' bus. But what got me, was this young man has never seen. He walks with a stick to trust what is in front of him and he is humbled enough to ask someone to help him. But what amazes me everytime I see him, is that he has the biggest smile :) when he asks for help, not one person has ever declined, and the look on his face is priceless. What I am getting at is that the Lord is good, he is perfect in all area's of this life of mine and he has given me an illness that I don't want to battle at times, but he has given me sight to see the beauty of this life. This young man dosent get to see, he dosent get to see the beautifulness that is set before him, but I pray that his imagination is amazing that when someone speaks to him he imagins someone and what they look like. He is a student at a university and is living his life. If only this young man new how impactful he has been to me. And regardless of everything, he makes me tear up every single time I see him. I don't know if it is because I feel sorry for him or if it is because he inspires me to be a better person. I thank that young man and I hope one day I can help him get on a bus or help him find his way.

I think where I am getting with this story is that special need's people have always had a place in my heart. There's something about a human being that is just as I am, but has been created with beautiful aspects that not everyone has. They are suppose to be loved just as I am, who am I not to love them. So I have already decided that, sicne the chance of me having children of my own is slim, I want to adopt. I have always wanted this and I pray that the Lord will grant that prayer for me and my husband when that time comes. But what I really pray that the Lord will bless me with a child, that has special needs. I would love to be a mother to a child that was not loved at birth, I want to be the mother that raises that child to be a productive member of society and love the Lord with all her/his heart. It amazes me at how the Lord works in your heart and transforms it to be what he has planned it to be. Even at 20 I have researched adoption and yes it cost's alot of money, but those funds will arrive when the time comes.

Well I thought that I would pour out my heart to everyone. I think my hormons have gotten the best of me today, but hey that's the beauty of being a woman....a wonderful excuss to cry at the drop of a hat or be a little moody every once in a while!